Destinations may elude us so be mindful of the journey.
Five years ago on this date, I threw myself a "halfway to 90" birthday party. So if you do the math, you'll figure out that I'm celebrating a pretty big birthday today - a substantial milestone of sorts. While I know there are some people that hesitate to share their age, I've never shied away from that because I believe in celebrating our resiliency in making it another year around the sun! I've always loved this quote from Mark Twain, which reinforces just that: "Do not complain about growing old. It is a privilege denied to many.”
This is also a time of year where we see lots of different milestones taking place: graduation parties, summer weddings and all those social media feeds filled with the last day of school pictures. There is a special joy in celebrating the milestones of those we know and love.
When the Ancient Romans wanted a way of helping travelers understand how far they had made it on their journey, milestones came into being. Today, milestones have symbolically become important markers and useful tools to serve as reminders of progress, in both our personal and professional lives.
Where I think milestones can potentially trip us up and become a source of anxiety is when those milestones don't take place when we think they "should" according to cultural standards. When we are walking through hard stuff, such as when addiction and mental health disorders exist, those milestones may sometimes look different for us and our loved ones. Or the milestones that traditionally bring joy - graduations, weddings, new beginnings - may be a source of angst as they can serve as painful reminders that our person hasn't quite checked that proverbial box in life.
"I don't like to give advice. I like to give people information because everyone's life is different, and everyone's journey is different." - Dolly Parton
We can get so caught up in the game of comparison (a powerful thief of joy), and often forget that our pathways and our journeys ARE vastly different and ever-changing. This also means that our milestones are highly personal and deeply meaningful regarding the path we are on. For some, a powerful milestone might look like finally convincing their loved one to seek treatment. For others, it may mean setting healthy boundaries in a relationship that has become problematic. There are many other examples that aren't always celebrated as "typical" milestones in life. But whatever it is that YOU see as an important marker of progress in your life, then that my friend, is your milestone.
I'm here to remind you that your milestones matter, and wherever they may be placed in your life, I encourage you to recognize and celebrate these moments that matter to you. If you need help navigating the journey and even recognizing those milestones when you're working to support a loved one struggling with addiction, I'd love to talk.
